Jan 18, 2012

Hearing voices

Every time I try to do something new, challenge myself in some way I have this horrible little voice nagging in my head telling me it’ll never work, it’s not worth it and I’ll never manage it. I don’t know why it’s there, I guess I give it to much room so it expands and becomes louder and louder, and suddenly it’s the only thing I hear. Because I let it become big and loud, I end up listening to it most of the times – and then, funnily enough things tend to not work out, not be worth it and I don’t manage it. This means that next time I’m a new situation, the voice has perfectly good ammunition to use – it didn’t work out the last time, why would it work out now? It’s a horrible, never ending circle that I keep running around in. I hate it and I don’t want to keep doing it.

As I think about writing “from now on, I won’t listen to it, I’ll do new things and just tell it to shut the f*ck up” it’s already working it’s way into my mind telling me – you know you can’t do it, you’ll never be able to shut me up… So, as part of the training I’ll write it anyway:

From now on I won’t listen to it! I’ll do new things and just tell it to shut the f*ck up!

So if you in the near future see me standing somewhere yelling obscenities to myself, don’t worry, I’ll be doing good!

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