So I just realized this blog is going to be my ticket to not falling into dementia as a 27 year old! I need it just like Alzheimer patients need their yellow post-it’s. I was trying to think the year through – you know, it being the last day of the year and all – but I can hardly remember what month I moved to this city, much less what I did a random day in Marts, or April, or October for that matter.
I guess the bigger things stand out – graduating from med.school, starting my first job as a “real” doctor, doing my first surgical procedure, one of my closest friends having a baby, having the family over for Christmas, going to London with sister dearest and the first vacation with just my mom and I. Although, one would think that moving to a new city would kind of qualify as a “big thing”…
Yesterday at work while we were waiting for the OR to be ready for us the surgeon asked me if I had always been this dutiful and committed person – a “daddies girl” or “mommas girl”. I was a bit surprised and maybe just a little bit annoyed with the daddies/mommas girl comment, but said that yes, I guess I had. He then said that when you’re like that, you tend to put a lot of pressure on yourself and always focus on things you could and should do better and that you had to remember to take time to think about how good you are doing and that I was doing really good. He said that I was one of the best interns they’d had in years, and even though my mind immediately goes to “yeah right” – today I’ll try to block that out, and really try to just take it in.
The biggest thing for me this year was finishing med.school – I’ve had this goal of becoming a doctor since I was about three years old, and even though I somehow knew this was what I was meant to do – I’ve spent the last seven years feeling like I’ll never be good enough. But I am, and my New Years resolution will be to try to remember it, cause when I finally start feeling it, I think that’s going to be when I really reach the goal set out so long ago.