Nov 10, 2012

Fighting with the shadows in your head

I need colorful pictures today. Something to balance off the very grey and misty rain we have in reality. I need that, my John Mayer playlist and maybe a cup of tea and a blanket, that should be enough to get me through this chilly worrisome evening I'm having.

I just came in from an hour long walk. There really is something deeply cleansing about water. It's like it wipes the slate clean and gives you a fresh mind. Today it might not have eased all my worries, but it helped with my headache, and that's always something.

I really thought that this fall/winter would be easier than the previous years but it doesn't feel like it right now. It feels like I should (yes, the awful word "should") be doing all kinds of important things, and obviously I'm not, I'm just waiting and hoping for something to happen all by its own accord.

Do you remember being a kid, wishing you were a grown up so you could do as you pleased and make your own decisions? I seldom thought that way because as far back as I can remember I've wanted to go back and try again, I always wanted to be a little girl and I always felt older than my age. Today that feeling is stronger than ever, what I wouldn't give to be a little girl jumping in puddles. 

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