Dec 21, 2013

Sit... Stay

I'm back. I'm wearing boots and a winter coat. I've had my first (and second and third) latte. I've stayed up late and slept in. I've eaten moms food. I've had sushi. I've hugged my family (and I've argued with them). I've gotten sick (and checked my temperature like crazy!) and let my (ecstatic) mother take care of me with tea, sandwiches and teaspoons of lemon and honey - supposedly it's good for the throat and/or cough, I don't know if it's true and I don't care, it tastes good.

There are so many things to tell about Sierra Leone. I wrote a little bit when I was there but I know myself, when it's too big, when it's too heavy I can't write it down, it becomes too real, I need time to process. I've started writing a bit more now but I don't get very far before I get too overwhelmed and have to stop. I guess it's just starting to sink in. I guess it'll take time.

I understand why people jump from mission to mission. I know that if I signed up for another mission in a couple of weeks I'd get lost in the craziness of the project and I wouldn't have to deal with all this - I'm not sure what to call it, the realization process, coming home, going back to normal. But knowing that, I think it's important that I don't do it - also I don't think I've ever been this tired in my life so I'm not sure what good I'll do anyone.

So for now I'll stay put. I'll celebrate Christmas with my family, I'll join in the hope for snow, I'll wrap some gifts and I'll make my meatballs, and when the world for a second seems dark and I get struck by a heavy sinking feeling I'll try not to run but deal and it'll all be ok.

No comments:

Post a Comment