The last two weeks have been like a trip to hell and back. I know people go thru worse, trust me I see them go thru it on a daily basis – but still, for me this was a really crappy time and it’s stupid that I feel like I need to defend that.
The thing about changes is that you get a really good look at what’s constant. Every time my life turns a new corner and I feel like everything is changing I realize I’m almost always dealing with the same or very similar things as last time. It’s both uplifting and devastating, depending on the constant. Never ever having things in order on time, having to depend on other people to help me out and always feeling indescribably alone – it’s devastating. Always managing to get things done somehow, finding someone who can and will help and realizing I’m only as alone as I want to be – very uplifting. The second part just takes a little more effort to get too, I need to keep reminding myself that it does come and to not jump off a cliff (or walk in to the woods as my sister and I say…) after part one.
Today was the first day without unpacking and without boxes everywhere, the first day of me officially just living here – and also the first time I had a guest, I guess you can call this the start of part two.